The Twelve Days of Crunch Time Again

Dec 26, 2021

Holiday repost!

Clayton and I did this back in Dec of 2004. Interesting how much hasn't changed. We'd have more "male" spouses now, something about loot crates and IAP, kissing up to steamers, and maybe change the last verse to be more "indie", but its shockingly accurate years later.

The Twelve Days of Crunch Time

A poem by Gilbert and Kauzlaric

On the twelfth day of crunch time, My project gave to me...

Twelve cents in royalties,

Eleven kiss-ass previews,

Ten nerdy testers,

Nine patent lawsuits,

Eight unplanned for features,

Seven frames a second,

Six angry spouses,

Five focus groups!

Four unstable hacks,

Three days without sleep,

Two surly artists,

and a crappy publishing deal.

Batya Dec 25, 2021
Ron Gilbert is the greatest person to ever walk this planet. Also, this poem is very funny.

Ken Dec 26, 2021

OzzieMonkey Dec 26, 2021
I am proud to say that I sang the entire thing out loud.

olli Dec 26, 2021
Awww man!

Radioactive Squirrel Dec 26, 2021
So, it's gonna be Deathspank III?

Brian Dec 26, 2021
rofl. Seven frames a second.

Cap'n Crunch Dec 30, 2021
"The purpose of all crunch, and all parts of crunch, is to transform crunch from one form to another."

Cap'n Crunch Dec 30, 2021
"If you understand the cost of skipping breakfast, you eat crunch. If you don't eat crunch, you can't reason about the cost of skipping breakfast."

Evan Dec 30, 2021
Have you ever launched a project that required no crunch? Hasn't happened to me yet...

Alien426 Jan 04, 2022
The trick with focus groups is to always have multiples of 12 and 2 to 4 items to vote on. So you are pretty much guaranteed to never have a clear cut favorite and can always pick what you liked best from the outset.

Burak Jan 10, 2022
What is Bladehunt: Deathspank III ?
Will there be another amazing deathspank game or is it a comic book or smth?