Grumpy Gamer

iPhone64

Fri, 09 May 2008 22:32:27 -0700

The Unofficial Apple Weblog mentions that Stuart Carnie mentions that he has a running C64 emulator on the iPhone which means only one thing, that Maniac Mansion on the iPhone is only moments away, and not one of the inferior versions, but the original, and only true version of Maniac Mansion, the C64 version.

Kracken

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 08:33:35 -0700

The fan fiction game Zak McKracken: Between Time and Space was released a few weeks ago. How do I know this? Because I get about 10 emails a day telling me. Two days ago I actually got a death threat if I didn't post about it and given that I mentioned in an interview a few years ago that I would reveal the Secret of Monkey Island upon my death, I figured I should take it seriously. For all you aspiring whack-jobs out there, please note that the Secret of Monkey Island will not be revealed upon my death. The secret has been entombed in a small pyramid-like structure deep in the Nevada desert and thousands of years from now archaeologists will unearth it and twist and construe it's meaning and base their entire understanding of the 20th - 21st century on a hastily scribbled note and a diagram of a monkey with a big arrow pointing to the left.

But I digress.

Go play Zak2

Please don't kill me until DeathSpank is done.

Pirates! Close-up!

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 17:05:27 -0700

While rummaging around some dusty old game store the other weekend I came across a "Pirate Toob" for $8.99 that was filled with small plastic pirates recommended for ages 3 and up.

Why did God make pirates so much fun?

April Fools' Day #4

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 18:36:36 -0700

Four glorious years in a row, the Grumpy Gamer family of websites has remained 100% April Fools' Day joke free.

Remember, every time a April Fools' joke is played, a point-n-click adventure game concept is killed.

Because absolutely no one asked...

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 08:58:47 -0700

Breakdown of Grumpy Gamer visitors by country:

28% United States
15%  Germany
10%  United Kingdom
5%  Sweden
5%  Canada
3%  Australia
3%  Spain
3%  Italy
3%  France
2%  Netherlands
2%  Argentina
2%  Finland
2%  Austria
2%  Norway
1%  Denmark
1%  Switzerland

Everyone else was less than 1%. Come on Estonia, you know you want it.

Here are the top 50 countries ranked after adjusting for population:

1 Norway
2 Iceland
3 Finland
4 Ireland
5 Sweden
6 Canada
7 Australia
8 United Kingdom
9 New Zealand
10 Denmark
11 United States
12 Austria
13 Germany
14 Netherlands
15 Switzerland
16 Israel
17 Spain
18 Slovenia
19 Singapore
20 Estonia
21 Hungary
22 Belgium
23 Uruguay
24 Italy
25 Croatia
26 Czech Republic
27 Greece
28 Argentina
29 Slovakia
30 Portugal
31 France
32 Republic of Korea
33 Bulgaria
34 Poland
35 Romania
36 Hong Kong
37 Chile
38 Venezuela
39 Malaysia
40 Japan
41 Mexico
42 Brazil
43 Peru
44 Russia
45 Turkey
46 Philippines
47 Ecuador
48 Ukraine
49 China
50 India

Does Iceland require it's citizens to own classic adventure games?

God Put The Secret of Monkey Island In Here Somewhere

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 09:15:00 -0700

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iDeathSpank

Sat, 08 Mar 2008 11:31:50 -0800

Apple announced their SDK for the iPhone a few days ago. I was going to do a recap explaining what it means for game development done as Shakespearian sonnets set to the music of Rihanna's hit song Umbrella, but after writing it and putting it all together it seemed a little trite and gimmicky, so I'll just stick to bullet points. (Free signed copy of DeathSpank: The Collector's Edition if you can figure out what 15th century song these can be chanted to).

Overall it's a lot better than I expected. I was worried it would be a simplified API akin to desktop widgets, but that doesn't seem to be the case.
Early indications are that Apple isn't going to restrict what apps get made, with the exception of Porn, malware and carrier unlocking. Looking at Porn on a iPhone seems silly, so I can live with that. That's what my "big boy" computer is for.
All applications must be downloaded via iTunes. This a double-edge sword. If you're interested in making real apps to sell, this is a huge win. Apple will allow 'free' apps to be downloaded, so that is also good. My worry is that we will see thousands of really crappy 'free' programs and Apple will start to censor. That would be bad, and any gatekeeper is problematic, even if they are a benevolent gatekeeper.
Not sure what this means for SCUMMVM. Getting your legally purchased Monkey Island files to the iPhone might be an issue.
I think the 30/70 split is very fair. Apple eats the cost of bandwidth and credit card transactions and you get 70% of whatever price you set. I have no problem with that. It's a hell of a lot better than the casual game business where they take 70% for doing the same thing. XBLA used to be a 30/70 split until they decided that indie game developers were making too much money and now give them 35%. Interestingly enough, Mr. Steve Ballmer was asked what he thought of Apple taking 30% and he said it was too much. Really? And what does Mr. Ballmer think of the XBLA split? Maybe he doesn't know and when he finds out there will be hell to pay.
I think we're going to see a flood of casual games hit the iPhone. We'll see if more interesting games start to show up. If Apple truly doesn't care what you sell, then this could be a very interesting platform for adventure games. Hell of a lot better than the developer economics of the DS/PSP.
The iPhone SDK says "No interpreted code may be downloaded and used in an Application...". I don't know of any modern game that doesn't use some kind of interpreted scripting language. I'm pretty sure this was not Apple's intention, but we'll see how they deal with it.
Dear lord I will be so happy when Spore finally ships. Not because I want to play it, but because I am so damn tried of hearing about it.

And one more time before we go: Rihanna's Umbrella

GDC Interviews

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 08:54:05 -0800

Some of the interviews I did at GDC about DeathSpank are on the Interviews page. There are a couple more that have not hit yet, plus some print magazine stuff that will show up in a month or two.

If you couldn't care less, watch this instead.

Look Behind You, A Three Headed Monkey!

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 21:31:53 -0800

Saskia Scharlau � who was at the Monkey Island Revival Party that I like to pretend I wasn't invited to � made this very cute three headed monkey. Somewhere in her house beneath the floor boards are two headless bodies that must keep her up at night. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.

Monkey Island Revival Party

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 14:11:56 -0800

Apparently there is a Monkey Island Revival Party in Vienna on February 23rd. Of course, I wasn't invited, but I'm not bitter, it's not like I had much to do with the damn game, or want to go to Vienna, or like parties and music and drinks and merriment, or pirates. Maybe I'll crash it. Yeah, that will show them.

UPDATE:

Here are some pictures from the Revival party that I wasn't invited to. OK, that's not completely true if truth be told. I was contacted by one of the organizers who claimed they did send me an invitation, so I combed through all my old email and sure enough, there was the invitation. If the party hadn't been the same week as GDC, I would have been tempted to hop on a plane and head on over because I love pirates just that much.

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