Sporn

Jun 18, 2008 twenty five to eight am

With the release of the Spore Creature Creator, it should come as no surprise to anyone that the first thing most people want to do is create genitalia.  I certainly hope it's not a surprise to Wil and the crew at SporeCo.  I have no doubt that smart scientists using today's modern super computers could calculate the "time to penis" of any game editor.

And yes, I realize that by trying to obscure the above image, I've only made it worse.

Other people's comments:

Posted by Joe on Jun 18, 2008 quarter to eight am

Tut tut so immature Ron...

Posted by someone on Jun 18, 2008 ten to eight am

Just realized, that the joke "gen Italia" also works in English. (eh, the Country)...made me laugh.

Greetings from Germany^^

Posted by someone on Jun 18, 2008 five to eight am

no, it doesn´t work at all.

Posted by Ormic on Jun 19, 2008 twenty five past three pm

Problem #1: Italien is Italy in English and not Italia...
Problem #2: No English speaking person (due to the British qualifying mess) cares about Italy or the UEFA Championship right now...

Is it possible to create creatures with wooden legs and hooks? Otherwise I'm not going to download this crap.

Posted by Sporeballs on Jun 18, 2008 five to eight am

Guilty as charged...maybe the plan is that ppl will get that out of their system using the creature creator before the game hits shelves...in any event spore looks like its going to be a great time killer :)

Posted by mapslinger on Jun 18, 2008 quarter to nine am

We've come a long way.  It used to be "time to crate."

Posted by Roderick on Jun 18, 2008 noon

Wow, I saw this picture in the link list earlier today, and the pixelation makes it approximately a thousand times more lurid. Well done.

Posted by kelsen on Jun 18, 2008 half past two pm

Posted by Nippywiffle on Jun 19, 2008 twenty five past nine am

I just downloaded the video and mini-game on the download page there... they should probably get an english person to do the translation to english. Right now, it's like they copied and pasted everything into babelfish.
"you want to have copyright issues, right?"

Posted by DAGO on Jun 18, 2008 ten to three pm

I just wonder if there's a giant vagina creature to go with the one you posted...

Posted by krustyDC on Jun 19, 2008 ten to five am

And by putting them on the same planet we could once and for all settle the answer to the question if men and women are supposed to live together...

Posted by Deirdra on Jun 19, 2008 ten to five pm

Apparently not. A boob creature was flagged by EA as inappropriate. Aren't double standards fun or what?

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/84575-EA-Says-Penises-Are-Fine-But-No-Boobs-Please

Posted by Houseofcuss on Jun 19, 2008 ten past five pm

I'm not sure it's a case a double standards. It's probably more to do with a person being silly enough to upload and share an inappropriate creation on EA's Sporepedia.

That said, when the lead designer of the game (Alex Hutchinson) says...

"You can have a penis car flying into a vagina house. If you want to live in penistown, that's fine. We'll give you the filter to ban it out"

...it makes you wonder about the sudden change of attitude. Maybe Maxis thought the above the EA though "oh no you don't!"

Posted by someguy on Jun 18, 2008 quarter past three pm

Nope. I don't see it.

Posted by Sonny on Jun 18, 2008 quarter past three pm

Definitely shopped. I can tell because of the pixels.

Posted by krustyDC on Jun 18, 2008 half past three pm

ymmd :-)

Posted by Farsot on Jul 20, 2008 ten past nine pm

nah, it's just a horrible grafics engine (that is a "retro game").

Posted by Thomas on Jun 18, 2008 half past three pm

haha!

I can't wait to see a planet full of these things :D

Posted by Nacho on Jun 18, 2008 twenty past five pm

YEEAAH baby!

I've made one myself. It even spits acid. Check it out: http://youtube.com/watch?v=3jvGnix6P-0

Posted by Pod on Jun 18, 2008 quarter past ten pm

According to the bible, man is created in God's image, right? Well, when you make humans god the first thing they do is making giant dicks..... does this mean we're all a image of God's dick, in some way?

Posted by Gorba on Jun 18, 2008 twenty five past ten pm

I dont get it.
I see thousands of penises and all, but no sign of a tree headed monkey...

Lame gamers....

Posted by aidan on Jun 18, 2008 quarter to eleven pm

I created purple tentacle
http://www.flickr.com/photos/27783769@N05/2591457495/
But of yes of course, first thing I made was genitalia :)

Posted by Andrew Herron on Jun 18, 2008 quarter to eleven pm

Why make genitalia when you can make animals that look like porn scenes?  :)

http://working-as-designed.blogspot.com/2008/06/user-created-content.html

Posted by granny on Jun 19, 2008 quarter past midnight

Completely agree. we should emancipate from this retro way of thinking. Sex is part of life.

Posted by Cyrus on Jun 19, 2008 one am

I haven't used the Sporn yet, but... I would have never done a sex-related image. And yes, that joke about God is VERY stupid.

Posted by GoofyChristoffer on Jun 19, 2008 twenty five past seven am

Why...? Because you're scared that it's true? :D

Posted by gorba on Jun 19, 2008 five past four pm

Asside from the lessons we learn since we were born that say "making jokes with God is wrong" "Saying the F Word is bad" "saying the F word before God is wrong-bad", the joke is realy good. It actuly is not a joke, is a very plausible conclusion that makes a lot of sence.

Posted by cG on Jun 19, 2008 ten past seven am

Cool. Testis dentata!

Posted by Cyrus on Jun 19, 2008 half past seven am

NOT cool, in my opinion. It's really sad that you, Ron, are in that kind of things. I expected you to be smart and original enough not to create silly genitalia images.

Posted by Ron Gilbert on Jun 19, 2008 ten to eight am

I didn't create that image.

Posted by Cyrus on Jun 19, 2008 twenty five past eight am

Oh, sorry... I'm just amazed how many people are obsessed with such things. By the way, are you planning to release DeathSpank this year or next?

Posted by Ron Gilbert on Jun 19, 2008 ten am

DeathSpank's release date is "unannounced" at this point.

Posted by DasMonsterFischAuge on Jun 19, 2008 twenty five past eleven am

Yay! WE HAVE A RELEASE DATE!!! xD

Posted by Johnny W on Jun 19, 2008 ten to three pm

You're a complete and total moron.

Posted by gorba on Jun 19, 2008 five past four pm

If you want to be mature about sex and genitalia and stuff, the first thing you should do would be acept this phenomenom normaly. After all, Porn IS FUN. You cant help it

Posted by Cyrus on Jul 2, 2008 twenty five past one am

Well, I'm not TOTALLY against sex and erotics. But if you get a device that supports hunderds of ideas and combinations, and the FIRST idea that comes to your mind is genitalia... This certainly is a noticeable fact.

Posted by Farsot on Jul 20, 2008 five past nine pm

well, they need to reproduce don't they? though a planet of only penises.. it do sounds contra productive.

Posted by Farsot on Jul 20, 2008 five past nine pm

..and penis = porn? some how something is very wrong there..

Posted by Houseofcuss on Jun 19, 2008 quarter to three pm

Well, I happen to think it's all rather hilarious. I'm particularly guilty as I made The Goatse Creature doing the rounds.

So to make up for my sins, have a Three Headed Monkey

Posted by gorba on Jun 19, 2008 five past four pm

NOW THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!

Posted by Gorba 2 on Jun 19, 2008 ten past four pm

All it needs now is some genitalia, in a very ofencive way to make it the Spore Masterpiece... Nothing could beat the greatness of such a creature...

Posted by Houseofcuss on Jun 19, 2008 five to five pm

I need to rinse my mind out before attempting a three headed money with a huge...ahem. Plus, he's great as he is!

Anyhow, after creating this NSFW monstrosity, I think I'm all wanged out.

Or maybe not...

Posted by Fuz on Jun 22, 2008 quarter past two pm

Wow, nice  threee headed monkey. Where it can be downloaded?

Posted by Johnny W on Jun 19, 2008 ten to three pm

I reckon the "penis phase" of Spore should peter out soon... at least I hope it will.

Posted by Houseofcuss on Jun 19, 2008 five to three pm

I imagine it's one of the reasons EA have released the Spore Creature Creator months ahead of the game.

Posted by guy that say BINGO on Jun 19, 2008 ten past four pm

BINGO!

Posted by Rouman on Jun 19, 2008 twenty past four pm

I read a while ago that they plan to cancel any account that makes such creatures.

By the way, awesome three headed monkey you got there :)

Posted by Abelo on Jun 19, 2008 ten to midnight

Wasn't it supposed to be spore reproduction?

Posted by Tinydinosaurs on Jun 20, 2008 twenty five past noon

Wait... isn't this the entire point ?

Posted by Farsot on Jul 20, 2008 quarter past nine pm

Indeed!

The image is a brilliant piece of hystericly funny criticism on the hypocrisy of it all!

Posted by Frisbie on Jun 20, 2008 quarter to one pm

mmm if we try to fight it in hand to hand it will be stronger and bigger :P.. hand to swords my knights!

Posted by gorba on Jun 20, 2008 four pm

What lesson did we learn toda kids?
EA and probably most of the industry is REALY stupid...
I mean... If they think that bannint this kind of content is a good idea they are to have a huje trouble filtering all the big tsunami of vaginas and bal that will come....
There must always be a scape route for those kind of stuff. If you try to hold it all, its they are gona grow in number until they make pressure enough to break throug...

And I must say that the idea of penis monsters growing and breaking through is kind of scarry

Posted by David Thomsen on Jun 21, 2008 twenty five past five am

You know you've linked to Zombo.com before, right? Unless this is a different but very similar Zombo.com.

Posted by Ron Gilbert on Jun 21, 2008 half past seven am

Everyone needs a little Zombo.com now and then.

Posted by Ives Castagnino on Jun 21, 2008 ten to six pm

Word!

Posted by Giorgio on Jun 21, 2008 quarter past ten am

Hi guys it's-a me, Giorgio (from a far off and mystical land called "It'a-ly").

Just wanna make you see this, pure genius.

http://it.youtube.com/watch?v=1rtiAQk3ojE

Posted by Abelo on Jun 25, 2008 half past five am

Sorry but... old and out of topic

Posted by gorba 96 on Jun 21, 2008 five pm

Image removed...
Well done Ron!

Posted by Ives Castagnino on Jun 21, 2008 ten to six pm

Well done? It's impossible! No one was tired of looking at it!

Posted by Tobias on Jun 22, 2008 ten to three am

Now the site is safe for work again. Thank goddess.

Posted by seb on Jun 21, 2008 eight pm

Aww I'm disappointed... Why remove it? It was funny, not offensive. Puritanism is the last thing I expected from Ron Gilbert... :)

Posted by Cyrus on Jun 22, 2008 twenty past two am

Well, THAT's really cool!

Posted by Andy Brown on Jun 22, 2008 twenty five past two am

Yesterday i realized the link between the Thriller video from Michael Jackson and MI2 ending...awesome!!!

Posted by 1001 on Jun 22, 2008 twenty five to four am

Image removed - finally! Now I do not have to explain to everybody around what kind of site I'm on.

Posted by Sonny on Jun 22, 2008 half past eight am

Censorship!?

Rally the internet! Fight for our right to view penises online!

Posted by 1001 on Jun 22, 2008 five past two pm

why do I have the impression, that the background screens (or the human organs growing in the underground of Monkey Island) would be different if released in 2008.

http://www.worldofmi.com/imageviewer.php?id=26

Posted by Giorgio on Jun 22, 2008 six am

Posted by Solarstorm on Jun 22, 2008 twenty past seven am

Off topic:
http://www.101influential.com/ they definitely forget Guybrush :/

Posted by Gorba on Jun 22, 2008 five to three pm

Guybrush is ok.
Now how could they miss JESUS?!?!?!?!? He should be #1!

Posted by Cyrus on Jun 24, 2008 five past one am

By the way, it's called "101 most influential people who NEVER LIVED". So Jesus is not suitable for that list.

Posted by Ives Castagnino on Jun 24, 2008 five to five am

Please tell me we're not getting in this kind of discussion.

Posted by Ron Gilbert on Jun 24, 2008 twenty five to eight am

There isn't one piece of historical evidence that Jesus was a real person, and no, you can't count the bible since that's what we're trying to verify in the first place.

Posted by Gorba on Jun 24, 2008 five to nine pm

I actully do think Jesus existed, but you know, it is always fun to make those angry catholics get angryer...

Posted by Cyrus on Jun 24, 2008 twenty to midnight

And what's your opinion on Jesus and religion in general? (Calm down! We're not getting into that kind of discussion, just wanna know Ron's opinion).

Posted by Ives Castagnino on Jun 25, 2008 five to seven am

OK, sorry, I'm taking my brass knuckles right now...

Posted by gorba abrog on Jun 22, 2008 five to three pm

I don't see Ron's wise act of removing the image as censorship... Serioulsy, it was a realy ugly picture, and it was very disturbing to look at it everytime I came to his site...

Posted by Ron Gilbert on Jun 22, 2008 half past three pm

It's not censorship if you decide you remove something from your own site for your on reasons.  No one told me or pressured me to remove it.  I was just sick of looking at it.

Posted by Gorba abrog on Jun 23, 2008 twenty past midnight

That's what I was saying... I am acutuly the guy who said "well done ron"

Posted by mapslinger on Jun 24, 2008 midnight

I can still see the tip.

Posted by Joe on Jun 25, 2008 half past seven am

So you log on, and it's there, and you stare at it.

You strange, strange man.



Actually I know what you mean.

Posted by Dante Kleinberg on Jun 23, 2008 ten to five pm

I was thinking the same thing about Blast Works, which is a new game for Wii that has a really deep editor for making spaceships and enemies and stuff.  

It has a website anyone can upload to or download from.  I'd hate to be the guy whose job it is to reject penis-shaped spaceships 8 hours a day.  That has to be truly horrifying.

Posted by Farbs on Jun 24, 2008 twenty five past midnight

But all good spaceships are penis shaped!

Posted by Han on Jun 25, 2008 twenty five past nine am

2 words... Millennium Falcon

Posted by Farsot on Jul 20, 2008 quarter past nine pm

hahaha, touché!

Posted by Teeferbone on Jun 24, 2008 twenty past nine am

First off, Vagina = http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQ-kfKNQg3o

The number of videos of penises and vaginas posted on youtube is staggering and a little saddening.  And that is why I will make up for my low-brow-ness by posting this link as well.  http://kotaku.com/5017806/spore-creature-creator-spawns-xbox-360-controller

Posted by F.Konkas on Jun 24, 2008 twenty to ten pm

Dude I must thank you for the golden nugget: ZOMBOCOM.

"Everyone needs a little Zombo.com now and then." is true, and I was living my life unfullfilled and unaware of this website before..

Posted by F.Konkas on Jun 24, 2008 twenty to ten pm

I swear I will return the favour some day!

Posted by F.Konkas on Jun 24, 2008 quarter to ten pm

And by the way I'm drinking lingonberry GROG right now!

Posted by Farsot on Jul 20, 2008 half past nine pm

wolfs paw (vargtass)? ;)

Posted by Teeferbone on Jun 28, 2008 twenty past four pm

Hey Ron,

With your connections in the gaming industry do you think you could pass the message along to Blizzard to STOP HURTING MY BRAINZ.

Posted by Edward on Jul 16, 2008 eight pm

LOL that picture is so gross:)

Posted by Farsot on Jul 20, 2008 ten past nine pm

sooo I guess they'r renameing the game; seed, now then?

Posted by madhias on Aug 2, 2008 half past five am

THANK YOU for ZOMBO.COM - yoga and special voodoo technics are forgotten now.

greetings from vienna - austria, the city of the pirates party!!!

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